Apologies and Forgiveness

The big news in Detroit right now is the "Sex, Lies and Text Messaging" scandal of the city's mayor. Basically he denied he had an affair with his Chief of Staff during a lawsuit brought against him by two police officers whom he fired because they tried to investigate his use of the security force to hide his affair. Now they have uncovered records of his text messages to his Chief of Staff which prove that there was an affair going on. He lost the lawsuit, costing the already desperate city of Detroit $9 million dollars. The mayor broke his week of silence last night with an emotional speech with his wife, apologizing for the pain he caused his family and the people of Detroit. Of course, he couldn't specify the details, because doing that would be an admission of guilt which would end him in jail. He insisted that he will change and he is refusing to resign as mayor.

This has made me reflect on what is apologizing and asking for forgiveness. What is an apology and what is needed for forgiveness to happen? Very simply, the only thing that is the right thing to do, is to say "Yes I did it. I resign. I will now pay the consequences." That is when there can be true change. I believe, then, the people wronged can give forgiveness. It so goes against our human nature. It involves humility. It means that there will be pain. It means there might be rejection and ostracism. It means a total change in one's life. It takes great courage to follow this route. And, in the long run, that person will gain back the respect and others will remember them for that courage.

This has been a bit of a lesson for me. Though I have not committed any "big" sins, I am guilty of trying to put the blame for my mistakes on some other reason than my error or make excuses that it wasn't possible to do the right thing. I have been learning to claim responsibility. To without explanation, say "Yes. I did it and I apologize." It is not always easy and yes, I face the consequences. But in the end, I believe I am a stronger person for it. And after I do it a few times, it becomes easier and feels more the right thing to do.