To Honor Him

"Our finest gifts to bring.... so to honor Him....I am a poor boy too.... I played my best for Him."

The words from the Christmas song "The Little Drummer Boy" have had a lot of significance for me this Christmas season. I have heard many versions over the years but it was listening to Josh Groban's version this year which made these words really stand out. Most versions start quietly as we catch a glimpse of the drummer boy coming before the baby Jesus with nothing to "offer the newborn king." The music begins to build in volume as he realizes he can play his drum and asks Mary if he can play for Him. And as Mary nods, the music climaxes as the spotlight focuses on the boy playing his drum and baby Jesus smiling at him. A gift well received.

Josh Groban's version is perhaps a unique interpretation and thus gives a different perspective. (Or maybe it's just where I am at this year.) He begins quietly but the music begins to swell as the drummer boy realizes he has the gift of his drum playing to give. Voices echo "to honor Him" several times. Then the music goes back to the quiet tones as he plays for the baby Jesus. And while one may think the emphasis is in the wrong place, I beg to differ.

When I was in grade school, for several Christmas assemblies, we were shown the cartoon version of this song. It is the story of a little drummer boy whose family was killed by robbers and he managed to run away with his pet lamb and drum. The three kings found him on their way following the star and took him with them. He was going to give the baby his pet lamb. As they reached Bethlehem, the Roman soldiers rushed through the street and the lamb was trampled under the feet of their horses. The drummer boy was devastated because now he had no gift. Yet still he came to baby Jesus and played his drum which ended up to be a great gift. Even some 35 years later, I still see these images clearly when I hear the song played.

So this year, thanks to Josh Groban, I am struck by the fact that while I may not have any "fine gifts" to bring - whatever I may think they have to be - the most important thing is that what I do bring, will be an honor to Him. And perhaps the greatest gift which honors Him is to be who I am, who He created me to be, who He has made me now. So I just have to be, to play the instrument of my life, and I will honor Him. And He smiles at me. The gift well received.

Confusing Extremes

Lately, through several experiences, I have been thinking a lot about suffering. In fact, I am consumed by it, fascinated with it and overwhelmed by it. Suffering is a very complex thing - pain and beauty and love combined - especially for those who believe in God. How can I reconcile the coming together of these extremes?

Usually I have to close my eyes as I watch the last days of Christ played out on the screen. I have gotten overwhelmed by the violent suffering which again I think is never to the extent to what it really was. "His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and His form marred beyond human likeness" Isaiah 52:14. Though I believe Mel Gibson's "The Passion" is the closest yet to what really happened. But recently, thanks to God-Tube, I have seen clips of the various portrayals of Christ's suffering put to different songs. I was transfixed - it seemed I couldn't get enough of it. I watched them over and over again. I ask myself "Why?"

I guess now I see the look of love in Christ's eyes. The blood, grime and sweat pouring down His face - yet there is love in His eyes. What powerful images! The disciples watching His strong, weathered hands breaking the bread and pouring the wine. The look as He tenderly washes their feet. The knowing as He sends Judas off to his betrayal. The love and sorrow as He looks at Peter as he denies Him. The look of Christ - as the nails are pounded through His hands; pain yet love. The look at His mother Mary and the thief on the cross beside Him; such compassion and understanding. Oh how such sorrow and love flow mingled down!

Yet still I struggle to reconcile it all. This God, who allowed His Only Son to suffer so and who allows me to suffer too, is a God of love. How can this be? He, who leads me in green pastures and beside the still waters, leads me also into great pain and allows the darkness to come. Somehow though, there is great love displayed in both. That is the mystery of God!