A Curious Thing

The other day I was struck by a very curious thought. In short, I was stopped by the MI state police out in the boonies for having illegal (in Michigan) tinting on my car. This was news to me after driving my Canadian car in MI for two years already! I had ten days to get the tint off, show the car at a police post and send the verified citation to the court. This was the last thing I needed to deal with in a very busy week with my final exam and last minute rush to finish my clinical hours. I could get the tint removed for free in Windsor so I had to go the day before my final exam. I planned for a 45 min trip and to get back home to Detroit to study. All was going well until I pulled out of the place with the tint removed, when I heard a pop and subsequent loud noise at the back of my car. It sounded like a flat tire. I groaned, stopped the car and sure enough there was a huge wire spike stuck in my tire with the air bubbling around it. I was not far from my parents so I limped into the driveway where I took the tire off, brought it to a place to get it fixed - had to wait about 45min and put the tire back on. So what turned out to be a 45 min trip ended up taking about 3 hrs - which was precious time away from my studying.

I caught myself saying "Nothing is ever simple in life when it needs to be. Plans never happen the way we want them to. Go figure." And I was stopped short by the thought - Why do I always generalize and say that this always happens when things don't go as I plan? I think I am probably not alone in this habit. When things do go as I have planned, I never acknowledge it. I am sure there are just as many times that things go right as there are times when things go wrong. However the curious thing is that I rarely remember those good times - only the bad times. So I resolve to be intentional about thanking God for and remembering the times when things do go as planned and to not generalize and be upset about those times when things go bad.

Besides I got the tint removed for free ,the ticket sent back to the court in 10 days and passed my exam and am no worse for the wear!!

Why me, Lord?

I was praying the popular Christmas song "Breath of Heaven" today while at a prayer retreat. It is a song about Mary's reflection of her journey of carrying God's Son. We have the encounter of Mary and the angel Gabriel when it was revealed to her that she was the chosen one to bring Jesus into the world in Luke 1. We see that she willingly accepted this call without much question except "how can this be?" Neither this passage nor others really give any details as to what this calling by God actually entailed for Mary. Many have looked at the culture of the day and comment that this calling had drastic consequences for Mary. It was not easy to be expecting a child out of wedlock and at the time she had no idea of how Joseph would react.

The words of the song say "Holy Father, You have come and chosen me now to carry Your Son."

I started to think about what would have happened if Mary had said "No I don't want this." What would God have done? ... Found someone else? ... Told her she had no choice? ... Threatened her? But no, God chose her, well knowing what her response would be. And Mary, in the song, could go on with the assurance of God's presence with her.

I thought about God's choosing me to believe in Him, to receive His forgiveness, to submit to His Lordship, to carry Him in my life. Lately I have not been wanting to be so willing to submit to that call for various reasons. I have said yes in the past. It has been hard and it has hurt. I am not so brave nor so eager now. Yet God knows my response as weak as it may be.

Further on in the song it says, "Do you wonder as You watch my face if a wiser one should have had my place.?"

And I questioned "Why me, Lord? Why have you chosen me? Surely You could choose someone else who is more wise and able to trust you more."

And God gently replied, "Because I love you."

And so, this Christmas season, I join Mary in this song and pray "Breath of heaven, hold me together, be forever near me ... light in my darkness ... help me be strong ... Breath of heaven."